In this episode of the podcast Seeking the Extraordinary David and host Michael Nathanson discuss some of the adventures David has had around the world, why he was given the nickname “Lemayan” by a Maasai warrior in Africa, and why creating a “connection without dots” motivates his work as a Conversation Architect.

It may feel like what we are going through has never happened before, and yet historically we are not the first to experience global pandemics. The Antonine plague, The Spanish flu of 1918, the bubonic plague, the cholera pandemic, AIDS, SARS…there are many. And now Covid-19. In each of these cases we came back—with resilience.

When you think about the pandemic, how do you “hold it”? That is, what is the context you use to think and act? Do you see it as transitional—as something to get through? Or do you see it as transformational—as something that is to be worked with and used for your personal and our collective betterment?

Because each of us is wired differently, as a consequence we have different motivation needs. With all this difference, however, there are five basic motivational preferences. Gary Chapman calls these preferences, "Really Personal Motivators" or RPM’s. They can help guide us in being more effective.

One day Rabbi Schneerson got a letter from a man who wrote, “I must see the rabbi. I need the rabbi’s help. I am deeply depressed. I can hardly go on. I pray and am not fulfilled. I am not moved. I feel no satisfaction. I need the rabbi’s help.” The Rabbi sent the letter back, and circled the first word in each sentence in red. The lesson was clear. You live a life of misery because you are focused on yourself.

It seems like the speed at which people go from nothing to inflamed response is getting faster and faster. The bottom line I see is just a lot of worry, anger and expressed frustration. Calm, non-engagement is a good thing. But how do we get there? Is there a secret?

A friend and I were recently talking about her new boyfriend. It is a new relationship, filled with promise. They seem a good match, both are active, interesting and interested in varied things. He is teaching her to fly a plane, she introducing him to the world of roller-derby. He asked her, “Do you think I’m a happy person?” “I think” she quietly answered, “You take what comes your way and turn it into joy.”

We must remember that new ideas, approaches, and perspectives are always there. The secret is to constantly challenge yourself to see the unseen, the unknown on a daily basis. The gift of change is that it shakes up our current view of the world, better allowing us to see any negative space that exists. When we can do that then we can embrace the unknown.

When things are going poorly, remember that everything is temporary. Know that whatever is heavy on your soul will eventually pass. Times will change. They always do. The issue will eventually get better. So trust that whatever challenges you face today, will not be so important tomorrow. But when things are going well, and our life is sweet, we need to stay in the present and appreciate the moment. The good times also don’t last forever either.

The 17th century philosopher Baruch Spinoza was once asked, “How do you figure out what has meaning?” He thought about it for a moment and responded, “That’s a big question…I’ll get back to you in a year.” After one year of considering this weighty question, Spinoza returned to the man and replied, "You can track purpose and meaning by asking the following three questions for thirty days." ...

I think there are two types of busy; a “busy” that comes from passion or one that comes from fear. When our time is filled with activities of passion, like a great date, time flies and we end our day excited and energized, no matter the pace. But when our time is spent in activities that at their root come from fear, it leaves us drained and weary.

Whether Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu or Muslim, the tenants of love, forgiveness, compassion and divine connection are the same. This year, as you are wandering around the bottom of your spiritual mountain seeking to ascend, remember all others climbing. Take a minute to consider ultimately how fruitless it is argue how to dress and instead seek the similarities of all journeys.

I just spent the weekend with a remarkable group of leaders all looking at the question of how do we create lives of life-long learning and purpose? It was during this meeting that I heard the following comment. “I want to live my life”, one participant said, “driven by the following question; ‘What will I do to the last breath?’”

In twenty years of studying and teaching on the subject of change there is one fundamental thing I've learned. Change is not a natural state but the natural state. It is the way of the universe to be in constant motion. We are either in expansion or contraction, living or dying, in love or in fear, breathing in or breathing out ... but it is rarely one of stasis.

What seems true is that every organization will usually have one big fear (loss of control or identity) and that during any partnership discussions susceptibilities to that fear run high. It is easy to trigger an unseen landmine if you’re not careful, and so the bigger the stakes, the more impeccable the need for high level behavior.

I believe the best way to start to promote greater inner happiness is through gratitude. The word comes from the Latin root gratia, meaning “to lend grace” or “to be in God’s favor” and we can choose gratitude, in every day, moment and breath.

A labyrinth is different than a maze. The purpose of a maze is to confuse and obfuscate, with numerous dead ends, twists and turns. But a labyrinth has only one path in and out. Its purpose, through the simple act of placing one foot in front of the other, is to clarify and enlighten.

We walk in two worlds. The first is the world of karma, a Sanskrit word meaning “cause and effect”. All great religious traditions at their core level teach this concept. The second world is that of grace. Grace comes from the Latin root word gratia, and means “to receive unearned favor from God”. We don’t do anything for this—it is, as the word says, unearned. At the heat of this concept is that regardless, we are forgiven.